Monday, March 31, 2008

Back to Reality

We arrived home from the beach a little while ago. As soon as I opened the door, the phone rang and it was my mom. We had planned to go down to the Inlet to mess around on the boardwalk before leaving, but the idea was scrubbed because it was so cold and windy, and because the kids already got souvenirs. My mother had called to say that right about the time we were leaving (and would have been going to the boardwalk), there was a 9 alarm fire to which 21 fire companies responded, which destroyed Dough Roller, some t-shirt place, and part of Marty’s Playland. All I could think was, oh no, the claw machines!

This weekend went pretty well. G and I got along fairly well, except the time he told me I was oppressive (he claims he was kidding). Remember how I said one unseasonably warm day wouldn’t hurt? Well, God delivered...it was a good 75 degrees on Friday, and I was acutally sweaty on the beach while walking in my jeans and sweater. It was therapy! I even saw one silly girl in her bathingsuit. Saturday and today, though, back to normal-wind and cold! We had a pretty good time...helped out with the youth group, and it’s always good to see our old friends there. MJ went down, too, so we got to hang out with her a little. We ate at Tequila Mockingbird, which I LOVE (thanks, MJ)! My only complaint was that I didn’t get to have any Thrasher’s fries or Dumser’s mint chocolate chip ice cream...but I guess there’s always later in the summer.

There were lots of funny things this weekend...Cameron calling the hotel a "ho-towel", Noah calling the elevator an "alligator", and the fact that we were so disgusted with our bent-frame terrible hotel bed that we took the mattress off and put it on the floor. It didn’t cave in any more, but it didn’t make it much more comfortable, either. I’m really looking forward to sleeping in my Beautyrest tonight! However, it, too, is worn out and we really need to look into getting a new one. I am pushing hard for a king this time (we have a queen, now). G thinks it will take up too much space in our room, but I think if we downsize our nightstands (they are huge), it will fit nicely. On the other hand, that would require buying a whole new bedroom set. Ah, yes...here I go...

So, the minivan has had her first roadtrip with our family. No on puked in it, thank God, and most of the mess has already been cleaned out of it, even. I do have to take it to the car wash to rinse all the salt off of it. It was really very comfortable, and even though I thought I wouldn’t, I fit everything in nicely. However, when we go to Myrtle Beach for an entire week, obviously there will be more stuff. I don’t know how that’s going to pan out. I am pretty sure we’re going to have to get a "turtle"...you know, the big storage container that goes on the roof of the vehicle. G is sure that it will kill the gas mileage, but who cares...I’d rather have that and be able to see out the back window.

Cameron had her first soccer game this evening. What a fiasco. She was on one team, then another coach called and said she’d been put on his team...I told him he needed to get with the first coach and figure it out...the second coach called me back to say that she should stay on the first team. Well, now they’re saying she’s supposed to be on the other team (even after she’s already practiced with her first team, and frankly, the first coach is nicer and doesn’t have a cultural identity issue like the second one does). The first coach insisted that she play with them tonight, which I thought was very nice. We’re supposed to hear from the soccer commissioner as to whether she stays with the good team or has to move to Coach Gangsta Wannabe’s team. I already know I’m going to have issues if she does have to switch teams.

Anyway, so it’s back to the same old thing tomorrow. I’ve been so busy that I don’t feel like I got a break at all...but it was nice not to do dishes or laundry and stuff for a few days. G was supposed to be off work tomorrow, but he has decided not to be, for whatever idiot reason. He was saying how he has so much time to take off this year, if he doesn’t start scheduling it soon, he’s going to lose it. I swear, I think he has a workwife that he can’t wait to get back to or something. And please God, let him take the Guitar Hero back to Ed.

I hope you all have a great week.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Breakfast on the Run and Weekend Plans

There are few things I like better than a Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit for breakfast. Every once in a while, I have to treat myself, and since I had to have bloodwork done this morning, what better time than after my "fast" (hah, yeah right, I simply hadn’t eaten breakfast yet). It’ll do wonders for my cholesterol, I’m sure, but man, they are so good.

We are going to the beach today, so I’m excited. Shame the weather won’t cooperate. Why did it have to be warmer in December than it is now? One freak 70 degree day isn’t too much to ask. Anyway, I have a million things to do before we go, including pack for everyone in the house. My husband, God love him, has screwed me yet again. He didn’t put his laundry in the laundry room, favoring instead to create a small mountain on the floor beside the bed. I cautioned him against doing so a couple of days ago. Yesterday, I also asked him several times whether he had packed, or if he planned to bring any clothes with him. He flat out said he hoped that I would pack for him. See, here’s where he knows he has me: he knows I’ll do it, because I would like to leave as soon as he gets home from work. Therefore, if I don’t do it, I’ll have to wait for him, and he will most assuredly take his sweet time. SIGH. I could just leave withouth him, I suppose, but who wants to deal with that can of worms?

It’s amazing, the amount of stuff a parent must carry with them when traveling with small children. I do tend to overpack, but when I have packed less, I have needed more. If I only packed one outfit for each day, the child has invariably had a diaper blow-out or got ridiculously wet or messy. If I didn’t pack allergy medicines and ibuprofen, the child got a fever in the middle of the night. If I didn’t bring a pack & play, the hotel ran out of them, or forgot to put it in the room. I find it’s better to just go ahead and bring the whole house, despite the protests of my husband. See, to him, packing the car is an artform. I say, if you have that much time to spend arranging, you have time to do your own laundry and pack your own stuff. Needless to say, I plan to pack the car by the time he gets home, so we won’t have that wait, too. And then there’s the space issue in the minivan. I’m used to having a big "butt" on my vehicle in which to stow lots of stuff...the aforementioned pack & play, the stroller, the suitcases and snacks...in the minivan, I just don’t have what I’m used to, and that’s going to be a struggle. However, it will be really nice and really QUIET on the ride to the beach, what with each kid having their own dvd player and headphones. No more screaming, hitting, stealing toys, etc. Now, if only we will have such luck when we go to Myrtle Beach this summer.

I’m hoping not to fight with my beloved husband today, or even this weekend. Traveling with the children tends to make us (or maybe just me) a little edgy. I tend to want things done my way (because I know best, of course, being the mother and all). I tend to get irritated when I don’t get my way...like the leaving on time thing. If we leave late, then the children don’t go to bed until late, and they’re a wreck the next day. However, he just thinks he’s on vacation, so he doesn’t have to hurry for anything. It’s that focus on only himself without considering the effect on the rest of us that makes me want to choke him. Hopefully, things will just go smoothly.

On that note, I really should pack so that I can follow my own plans! It’s only three days, right?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It’s Official, I’m a Soccer Mom In Training

Yep, we did it. We bought a minivan. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be driving a minivan with three kids, I’d probably have slapped you. But, it’s in front of my house, and the kids are all fired up about it. We bought a 2005 Toyota Sienna XLE, which is the nicest and newest vehicle I have owned. When I compare that to the 1983 VW Rabbit I used to have when Cameron was little, well, it seems like I’m living the good life. On the other hand, now I have to pay for the damn thing. I just hope I’m not going to be car-poor. I will have to be more strict with my spending, that’s for sure. Rather like the tv we bought last summer, we have spent more than we originally agreed upon. Seems like the American Way, no?

I hope that it’s a wise investment. It will cost less in gas than the Tahoe, which is, of course, wonderful. I hope it will serve us well. And God bless Toyota for the 14 cup holders!

Ed, I'm Coming for You...

So, quite a while ago, I told G about Guitar Hero...how all the kids are playing it, and how it sounds like fun and he would probably love it. I’m sure he’d already heard of it, being the tech geek he is, but I don’t think he really realized its popularity. Well, now of course we have the Wii, thanks to my Target stalking at Christmas time. It was only recently that G learned the Guitar Hero was available for the Wii.

And then there was Ed. Ed is his friend from work, whom I have never met. I don’t know what he’s like, I will admit...but I’ve got it out for him. See, I’ve been having a little trouble getting my husband to spend time with me. He’s been a workaholic lately, and when he’s not working, he’s doing what HE wants (messing around on the computer, playing volleyball, doing whatever it is he does in the garage). Yesterday, G brought home a white box. Can you guess what was inside?

He spent all of last night first clumsily following along, and later full-out rockstar jamming around the living room (I mean complete with lip syncing, jumping, super-exaggerated strumming). He didn’t make Cameron’s lunch, like I asked. He didn’t get his clothes out of my truck as I asked. He didn’t come to bed with me. SIGH. Goodbye, G. See you in a couple of weeks.

Ed, if a brick (or the Enemy in the White Box) crashes through your front window, you’ll know it was a present from sweet little ol’ me.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Car Shopping

I test drove another Sienna today. This time, they offered to give me $2k for my truck, and the salesperson said they would probably go to $2500. They did not take anything off the price of the vehicle, though, leaving me about $2500 from where I’d like to be. The salesperson was casual, down-to-earth and reasonable. He treated me as though I were going to buy the vehicle--didn’t ask if I needed to contact my husband. I like that. I didn’t really get to talk to the manager, which is just as well. They’re usually the slimiest of them.

I might go look at another, tomorrow. I don’t even feel like having my truck appraised again...it’s not running well and the engine light is on. It’s embarrassing! Combine that with the dirty carpet, Cheerios and toys, and, well, can you blame them? I know they’re only going to wholesale it, but still...it’s worth more to me. The book value is about $2600 more than they’re offering, and that’s for only fair condition. High retail is about $5k more. So should I try to trade it, or sell it outright? Is it worth it to try to sell it? Or should I suck it up and pay more?

Anyway, the other Sienna I am interested in is $1k more, and it’s in Owings Mills. Another hike. I am one of those people who has to feel "this is it". I have to know that it’s right. I believe we didn’t get the first two we looked at because they weren’t right. Am I saying that we’ve been predestined to purchase a particular vehicle with a particular VIN number? No...just that I should have clarity and peace with the one I’m going to buy.

Last night, my 2yr old Noah tried on my mascara. He also tried it on the couch (thank God I don’t use waterproof, eh?). Some of you may remember a short while ago, when Collin did the same. It was pretty funny. He also emptied a can of Dermaplast all over the living room and himself, coating everything in a greasy fog. For the past week or two, he’s had an affinity for markers and pens. He wrote on both the dining room table and the coffee table with a pen, and the entire way up the stairwell with a green marker. More proof that when you realize it’s very quiet, it’s already too late. My friend complains that with the current state of things, he might have to be an Ikea shopper. Well, I’d rather my kids write on my Ikea stuff than my Ethan Allen. Today, Collin dumped an entire 20oz (cold) water on me. That, too, was a pleasant experience. It truly was an accident, though, so I couldn’t be too mad...and let’s face it--it could have been cherry KoolAid.

I think I will try to make some fish for dinner. I’m still on the fence about it. I am really NOT a fish person. I like shellfish, yes, but I pretty much always turn my nose up at even the finest selections of fish. I have, however, had a couple of types of salmon that I liked...I may try to replicate one of those recipes. I’m just tired of the same old thing...I like quite a bit of variety in my diet. That’s pretty hard to do, when you have not one, but four different people, with different degrees of pickiness, living in the same household. There is literally nothing that will make everyone happy. Sometimes I feel like making my own dinner, and telling the rest of them that they are on their own. I guess to be fair, I should wait until they’re at least old enough to use the stove!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Uneventful

Well, the MIL came and went without much to-do. Really, her visit went well. We ate out more than usual, which is nice for me...and she’s the type to help clean up and stuff, so that was nice, too. Her incessant commenting during movies and phony hyper-praising got on my nerves as always, but it was pretty tolerable. Her worst visits have always been when her husband came with her. We even had a fairly deep discussion about religion last night. The kids really enjoyed her visit. I’m just glad it’s over and we can go back to "normal", whatever that may be.

So, we went to talk to the sales people about a deal on the minivan we liked. As soon as we pulled up, we saw that another three-kid family had just arrived and was looking at the same van. We lurked around the lot as they got the keys, checked it out, and went for a test-drive. It was pretty pointless, but we went in to see what kind of deal they would offer us, but I knew the other people were going to buy it. First of all, the list price was decent, considering the book value. And while there was nothing "wrong" with them, the other family just seemed to not be quite as savvy as we might be regarding used vehicle purchase. It turns out that they only offered me $1k for my truck, and nothing off the price. Why should they, they had another eager family whose rugrats were already climbing all over the thing? Oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be, and that’s ok.

Right on cue, however, my truck began small signs of protest. She knows her days are numbered, her feelings are hurt, and she’s going to give me a hard time in the next couple of weeks. She didn't want to start (more than usual), and the trip odometer got stuck...so it made an annoying click which I couldn't figure out for quite a while. Then it overheated...or maybe not, the temperature guage was just going crazy because there was so little coolant in it (that's a boy's job, and that boy hasn't been doing his job). Anyway, there is another I might go look at tomorrow, in Reisterstown. That’ll be a fun drive with the boys. The price listed on that one is not too bad, either, so it depends how much they’ll move on it, as well as how much they would give me for my truck. I know I would likely be able to sell my truck outright for quite a bit more than the dealer would give me, but it’s just not something I want to do right now. Trying to answer questions and field calls and potential buyers while looking after my children and juggling my own schedule...eh. Not to mention if my truck would sell before I find a minivan. Fun, fun. I would like to find a new vehicle before I go to the beach at the end of the month. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about problems on the way down and back (except my incredibly motion-sick child on my new leather seats).

I can’t believe Easter is this weekend. I am not at all ready for the festivities...my eggs are not filled, my treats are not ready to go in the baskets. My house isn’t even decorated, which makes me kinda sad. I am, however, glad that the daffodils and crocuses are up, and that spring is on its way. This cold weather keeps hanging on, but with Daylight Savings, I’m really encouraged. It won’t be long. Now I just have to figure out what to do with my kids while Cam is off school this week. We will have to think of stuff to do so that boredom and insanity and fighting doesn’t ensue.

Guess I’d better go see about dinner...it’s not going to cook itself!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Mom Mobile

So, I drive a 4WD 1997 Chevy Tahoe with 155k miles on it. It has no third row seating, therefore, if we have the family with us, no one else can ride with us. The cargo space is, of course, fabulous. It's great to be able to go to Home Depot and buy an appliance, 12 bags of mulch, whatever. It's great to be able to cart around a double stroller, single stroller, and a week's worth of groceries. It's especially wonderful after a snow storm to be able to get in the car, push a button, and drive away...no shoveling required. I can tow pretty much anything, pull another car out of the mud, etc. It's big, strong, and safe.

And it gets about 11 miles per gallon.

With gas prices heading up to $3.20, and $4.00 projected by summer, that does pose a bit of a concern...even though I usually only drive a few miles per week. Additionally, it needs some work...needs a new catalytic converter (so the exhaust has that lovely rotten egg smell) and some oxygen sensors and stuff. My aftermarket remote start has stopped working, and the mp3 changer stopped working a long time ago. The transmission has shown signs of stress on some occasions, and no wonder, with that many miles on it. It probably should be rebuilt. So, the school of thought is, is it really worth it to put any more money into this vehicle? G thinks not. And, quite honestly, he doesn't want to be the one working on it, either. See, fixing cars is one of his hobbies. But not when it has to be done.

So, the other day we went to look at a Honda Odyssey in Bel Air. It was pretty nice...heated leather seats, navigation, and plenty of room for the fam. I will say that I hate the storage space in a minivan. I wish it was more like my truck. Once there is a single stroller in there, there won't be room for much else. The used car market around here is very slow lately, so prices are fairly reasonable, even before haggling. We could potentially get a good deal, and have a nice, comfy vehicle to take on our summer road trip. But man, I hate to get rid of my truck. We would likely trade it in for two reasons. First and foremost, it gives us a little bit of bargaining room, and therefore would decrease the amount we need to finance. Secondly, we wouldn't have the headache of having it inspected and selling it on our own. I just hate to get rid of it. And, to be quite honest, I hate a minivan. The features and comforts are nice, but I just don't like them.

Yesterday, I went to look at a Toyota Sienna with the two boys. That was interesting. I wasn't assertive enough with the sales person, so she yapped the whole time and came with me on the test drive. She offered to stay behind and keep my boys (NO!), and then pissed me off by asking THEM if they wanted to stay there in the kids' room. Thankfully, they're boys, so they wanted to see the car. She yapped the whole time on the test drive as well, which irritated me. I couldn't concentrate on the details of the drive and the vehicle because she was going on and on about how many people wanted to see this particular van. Give me a break. I'm immune to all their slimy tactics...G used to sell cars! I didn't let on, though. I knew I would be bringing G back to check the car out...obviously he would be able to diagnose any mechanical problems better than I would.

So, the whole lot of us drove back to the dealership last night, and G took the car for a drive himself. He liked it even better than the Odyssey, as did I. It looks like we will probably give them an offer and commence the haggling this weekend. IF it doesn't sell by then, which of course they would have us believe is inevitable. Oh, this will be fun. G thinks we should bring the children, because that gives us excuses and leverage...I'll make them all cry if you don't give us what we want and hurry up! I think, of course, that it would only add more pressure to us...and of course, it would make them pretty miserable. On the other hand, it just might work for us to say, we only have half an hour. Let's roll.

Two days until the MIL's arrival. Guess I'd better make sure I have some wine in the house.

Monday, March 10, 2008

MILs and Caffeine Withdrawal

The MIL (mother-in-law) missed our re-wedding in December because her mother was sick, so she had an open round-trip ticket. She said she would come in March. Well, she made her arrangements, only she wasn't flying in to BWI...she was flying in to Philadelphia, so that she could go visit my brother-in-law (hereafter referred to as the BIL). Well, we thought that was a little rude, but whatever. Then she decided to fly into Philadelphia, but leave from BWI...but someone would still need to go pick her up from NJ. SIGH. First she said they could drive her halfway, and therefore I offered to pick her up at the Chesapeake House on 95. Then my BIL and SIL said they could not drive her down, not even halfway. SO, G would have to go pick her up after work, a five hour round trip. Or, take the day off and go get her. Ridiculous. She said she had to go to NJ first because she had to work (she works for my SIL). Well, she could work from home, no? Furthermore, she said she could not afford to take off work for an entire week, but then proceeded to tell me how she'd just taken off four days to go to Pensacola with some friends. Anyway, G agreed to go pick her up in NJ, something that irritated me. Truthfully, I saw no diplomatic way around it, but why should he bend over backwards for a mother whose life he's never been a part of?

And then she canceled. She had her husband (G's stepfather) call and say she would not be coming, because it didn't make sense to visit us if she was going to NJ...or something like that. And then she decided to fly into BWI tomorrow, and leave Sunday. I said that would be fine, I could pick her up whenever, as long as it didn't interfere with school. And then she canceled that trip. Said she felt like there was a problem, that it wasn't a good time to visit. Then she reinstated her original trip to NJ anyway. Then she changed her mind AGAIN, and decided she will borrow a car from my BIL and drive down to our house for the weekend.

Can I scream now?

What I think she wants is for G to call her and beg her to come...to make her feel reassured and wanted. Well, he's been wanting her to be part of his life all this time...if she can't see that, it's her own fault.

So, I've been trying to give up my caffeine addiction, because it tends to fuel my anxiety. It sucks. I don't have withdrawal every day, just after I've had caffeine. The only caffeine I had was a tiny bit of a latte yesterday. Today, I'm getting a cold, and I have a headache...the coffee would do wonders. But then, especially what with the MIL situation, I just might be on the ceiling.

G just called me and asked me if I wanted to go look at a mini-van tonight. In Bel Air. With the kids. I'm sorry, but I don't think hungry children at a car dealership an hour away at dinner time is a good idea. Besides, I have a nice pork roast that is waiting for the oven. Again, the pressure of the mini-van. Why right this minute? Why tonight? I don't understand that boy.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Middle of thRoad, Please

For weeks, my son has been holding his poo. Yep, that's right...he's anal retentive. It started out as a little bit of constipation. A little poop that hurt a little bit, and he thought, the hell with that, I'm not doing that again! Behold, a vicious cycle was born. It hurt to go, so he held and held until it got too big and REALLY hurt. Then he'd absolutely be forced to go, and that would confirm in his little mind that he no longer desired to defecate. I tried increasing fluids, eliminating milk and adding juices, fruits, and fiber, but he still held. Eventually I even had to give him a suppository a few times (he would hold for as long as possible after THAT, even). I gave him a baby laxative four times...he still held. I read about such toddler issues online, and decided a trip to the doctor was in order. I pretty much knew that he would prescribe Miralax (he did) and that my son would be on it to both regulate him and to make him forget that pooping sometimes hurts. Well, he's pooped seven times since dinner last night. Once would have sufficed. Now it seems that if something enters his mouth, something must be discarded. The doctor said that I could reduce his dosage to half, or every other day. I think I may do half, every other day.

See, I'm not looking for the perfect relationship. They all have their ups and downs, right? A moderate level of happiness, trust, security and contentment would do. I would be ok with that. I'm not looking for wealth beyong imagination. Comfort, again, would be fine. And yes, one poop a day would be fine.

Right now, I would like to be in the middle of the road. I'm done with the roller coaster, and I'm done with polar opposites. Sometimes it's not so bad to lead an average life, eh?

In Another LIfe

March 1, 2008

I had a fabulous dream this morning. I had gone to Australia to visit a friend (who actually lives in New Zealand, but my unconscious mind obviously neither knows nor cares about the difference between the two). Some huge festival was going on...I mean, street parties, food, music, the whole nine yards. For some reason, I went ahead of the rest of my family. G brought the kids later (yeah right, like that would EVER happen, not to mention involving international flight). I was to meet up with a sort of host family...two brothers who were about my age, and the one had children of his own. Well, wouldn't you know that the both of them were hot as can be. After hanging out with the younger one (didn't I already learn my lesson with younger men?), he leaned close and said, "We are going to kiss now." Just for a split second, the little voice in the back of my brain was feebly insisting, tell him you're married! Show him your ring! Say you can't! It's beneath you! You're better than this. Shut up, little voice.

Oh, I know exactly why my husband kissed that girl on the camping trip. I would so love for someone to pay attention to me in that way, let alone someone hot and with an accent. The loneliness, the lack of interest, the lack of concern...those were nails in that somnolent coffin. I'm in a bad way. I can't possibly ever allow myself to get into that situation. When I was in Mexico, I met a guy named Belisario, and as I drifted off to sleep each night, I liked to ponder where my innocent chats with him would go, if I had let it. I like to think that it is beneath me, but I also know how deliciously real and incredible that kiss was. The excitement of desire, of newness, of all the things left undone...the lack of obstacles and real life. There were no dishes, work, sick children, bills, boredom, selfishness. It was just me and him. G found us in that dark corner right then, and I nonchalantly moved apart from him in a safe amount of time so as not to appear guilty. Or would I? The better part of me wanted G to suspect something, or even to have seen the whole event. I wanted him to see me as a girl who is not an aging soccer mom, but someone who is in fact attractive and desirable to at least some members of the opposite sex. I wanted him to realize that I do have desires, and a desire to be loved-or at least wanted. I wanted him to feel jealous. I wanted him to feel threatened. And yes, a very lowly part of me wanted to say, see how it feels?

Sometimes I feel like that girl from Reality Bites...the one who never wants to have a relationship...the one who only wants first dates and new "loves". That's the good part. Sure, sharing a life with someone is divinely fulfilling at times, how much more fulfilling would a few injections of that euphoria be?

And then I woke up. And he was asleep on the couch.