For weeks, my son has been holding his poo. Yep, that's right...he's anal retentive. It started out as a little bit of constipation. A little poop that hurt a little bit, and he thought, the hell with that, I'm not doing that again! Behold, a vicious cycle was born. It hurt to go, so he held and held until it got too big and REALLY hurt. Then he'd absolutely be forced to go, and that would confirm in his little mind that he no longer desired to defecate. I tried increasing fluids, eliminating milk and adding juices, fruits, and fiber, but he still held. Eventually I even had to give him a suppository a few times (he would hold for as long as possible after THAT, even). I gave him a baby laxative four times...he still held. I read about such toddler issues online, and decided a trip to the doctor was in order. I pretty much knew that he would prescribe Miralax (he did) and that my son would be on it to both regulate him and to make him forget that pooping sometimes hurts. Well, he's pooped seven times since dinner last night. Once would have sufficed. Now it seems that if something enters his mouth, something must be discarded. The doctor said that I could reduce his dosage to half, or every other day. I think I may do half, every other day.
See, I'm not looking for the perfect relationship. They all have their ups and downs, right? A moderate level of happiness, trust, security and contentment would do. I would be ok with that. I'm not looking for wealth beyong imagination. Comfort, again, would be fine. And yes, one poop a day would be fine.
Right now, I would like to be in the middle of the road. I'm done with the roller coaster, and I'm done with polar opposites. Sometimes it's not so bad to lead an average life, eh?
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
In Another LIfe
March 1, 2008
I had a fabulous dream this morning. I had gone to Australia to visit a friend (who actually lives in New Zealand, but my unconscious mind obviously neither knows nor cares about the difference between the two). Some huge festival was going on...I mean, street parties, food, music, the whole nine yards. For some reason, I went ahead of the rest of my family. G brought the kids later (yeah right, like that would EVER happen, not to mention involving international flight). I was to meet up with a sort of host family...two brothers who were about my age, and the one had children of his own. Well, wouldn't you know that the both of them were hot as can be. After hanging out with the younger one (didn't I already learn my lesson with younger men?), he leaned close and said, "We are going to kiss now." Just for a split second, the little voice in the back of my brain was feebly insisting, tell him you're married! Show him your ring! Say you can't! It's beneath you! You're better than this. Shut up, little voice.
Oh, I know exactly why my husband kissed that girl on the camping trip. I would so love for someone to pay attention to me in that way, let alone someone hot and with an accent. The loneliness, the lack of interest, the lack of concern...those were nails in that somnolent coffin. I'm in a bad way. I can't possibly ever allow myself to get into that situation. When I was in Mexico, I met a guy named Belisario, and as I drifted off to sleep each night, I liked to ponder where my innocent chats with him would go, if I had let it. I like to think that it is beneath me, but I also know how deliciously real and incredible that kiss was. The excitement of desire, of newness, of all the things left undone...the lack of obstacles and real life. There were no dishes, work, sick children, bills, boredom, selfishness. It was just me and him. G found us in that dark corner right then, and I nonchalantly moved apart from him in a safe amount of time so as not to appear guilty. Or would I? The better part of me wanted G to suspect something, or even to have seen the whole event. I wanted him to see me as a girl who is not an aging soccer mom, but someone who is in fact attractive and desirable to at least some members of the opposite sex. I wanted him to realize that I do have desires, and a desire to be loved-or at least wanted. I wanted him to feel jealous. I wanted him to feel threatened. And yes, a very lowly part of me wanted to say, see how it feels?
Sometimes I feel like that girl from Reality Bites...the one who never wants to have a relationship...the one who only wants first dates and new "loves". That's the good part. Sure, sharing a life with someone is divinely fulfilling at times, how much more fulfilling would a few injections of that euphoria be?
And then I woke up. And he was asleep on the couch.
I had a fabulous dream this morning. I had gone to Australia to visit a friend (who actually lives in New Zealand, but my unconscious mind obviously neither knows nor cares about the difference between the two). Some huge festival was going on...I mean, street parties, food, music, the whole nine yards. For some reason, I went ahead of the rest of my family. G brought the kids later (yeah right, like that would EVER happen, not to mention involving international flight). I was to meet up with a sort of host family...two brothers who were about my age, and the one had children of his own. Well, wouldn't you know that the both of them were hot as can be. After hanging out with the younger one (didn't I already learn my lesson with younger men?), he leaned close and said, "We are going to kiss now." Just for a split second, the little voice in the back of my brain was feebly insisting, tell him you're married! Show him your ring! Say you can't! It's beneath you! You're better than this. Shut up, little voice.
Oh, I know exactly why my husband kissed that girl on the camping trip. I would so love for someone to pay attention to me in that way, let alone someone hot and with an accent. The loneliness, the lack of interest, the lack of concern...those were nails in that somnolent coffin. I'm in a bad way. I can't possibly ever allow myself to get into that situation. When I was in Mexico, I met a guy named Belisario, and as I drifted off to sleep each night, I liked to ponder where my innocent chats with him would go, if I had let it. I like to think that it is beneath me, but I also know how deliciously real and incredible that kiss was. The excitement of desire, of newness, of all the things left undone...the lack of obstacles and real life. There were no dishes, work, sick children, bills, boredom, selfishness. It was just me and him. G found us in that dark corner right then, and I nonchalantly moved apart from him in a safe amount of time so as not to appear guilty. Or would I? The better part of me wanted G to suspect something, or even to have seen the whole event. I wanted him to see me as a girl who is not an aging soccer mom, but someone who is in fact attractive and desirable to at least some members of the opposite sex. I wanted him to realize that I do have desires, and a desire to be loved-or at least wanted. I wanted him to feel jealous. I wanted him to feel threatened. And yes, a very lowly part of me wanted to say, see how it feels?
Sometimes I feel like that girl from Reality Bites...the one who never wants to have a relationship...the one who only wants first dates and new "loves". That's the good part. Sure, sharing a life with someone is divinely fulfilling at times, how much more fulfilling would a few injections of that euphoria be?
And then I woke up. And he was asleep on the couch.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Baking Adventures
Yesterday, I attempted my first King Cake. If you don't know what that is, you can read about it here. Some years, our friends from Baton Rouge would send us one, and we always enjoyed the tradition. This year, I actually found one at the Giant. It was ok, albeit slightly stale, but it lacked the highly coveted baby! The children, of course, were distraught. Besides, I knew that any King Cake I made would be a sight better than a crappy Giant cake.
Well, I must say that it turned out really well. It smelled like heaven in my house, while it baked. The taste is very comparable to Entenmann's cream cheese coffee cake, if you've ever had that. It didn't occur to me until after I'd made the entire thing, that it had no cinnamon in it at all...unlike the other King Cakes I've eaten. No matter, it was de-lish, and the kids were thrilled. It required a special trip to the KKK. That would be the area's finest cake/confectionary store, the Kake Kraft Korner. We had to buy sugar in purple, green, and gold, and of course, the baby. But, since I have more than one baby, I had to buy five plastic babies. That alleviates the lamenting over not finding a baby in his or her slice.
So, today is hangover day in New Orleans. While I don't really feel the need to be part of the Bourbon Street madness again, I would like to have participated in some of the festivities. I love going to the parades, and would kill to get into one of the balls. Not to mention the food...mmm. Speaking of, I also made red beans & rice last week. That, too, was quite tasty. I followed Emeril's recipe almost exactly...without my normal elaborate tweaking. What I didn't stop to consider were the gastric consequences of said glorious meal. I mean, the gastric consequences of my dear husband. I had the sense to eat small portions of the stuff, followed quickly by Gas-X. He, on the other hand, porked out and proceeded to be quite musical (and hideously putrid) all evening. For days. Next time I decide to make it, I think I won't tell him.
I certainly have more to write, but my tired brain won't allow it, and my bed is calling me. I hope you all are well this week.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
It's Been a While
It's been quite a while since I've posted anything, and so much has happened that I wanted to write about, but now I pretty much feel like there's no way to catch up. It's been a crazy month or so.
In the beginning of December, G and I were re-married. We renewed our vows, and it was a big to-do. It was a lot of work, and I have no idea how people have great big weddings. It was also pretty stressful at times. The event marked our 10th anniversary, which is something I still have trouble getting my brain around. In all honesty, it's something I was not confident we would achieve. It makes me feel quite old. I feel as though we've moved into new territory...this is a new period for us. We've transitioned into something different; hopefully it will continue to grow and be progressively better. Sometimes there's nowhere to go but up, you know?
Christmas was VERY hectic, this year, since we were largely preoccupied with the re-wedding right before. My sister was wonderful and helped me with last-minute wrapping that a certain someone wasn't inclined to help with (in his defense, he did assemble some stuff that I wasn't inclined to). I actually got done all that I needed to and was able to enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but when the day was over, I could have slept for 16 hours. Every year, I vow to start and complete the shopping and wrapping process earlier, but every year, it seems like I'm down to the wire. I really need to change that. This wasn't my favorite Christmas, either. It was very nice, but the actual part with the kids...well, it just didn't go the way I wanted. My middle son seemed disappointed, to some extent, and they all three unwrapped in record time. Next year I think I'm going to have them alternate unwrapping a gift so that it can be more appreciated by all of us. Not to mention, maybe it will make the gifts "stretch", and they won't be left simply wondering what they can open next. I want them to be grateful for what they have and what they get. Anyway, now comes the process of culling the existing toy collection and finding homes for the new stuff. But I really think that this year they got a reasonable amount of stuff. More importantly, they seemed very interested in traditions, this year...which was nice. I hope they continue to appreciate that.
The inlaws came and went without much to-do, which was nice...but not without all the phony-ness and half-truths. I don't know why my mother-in-law can't just say and do what she really feels. I really feel sorry for G in that respect. I'm pretty sure he'll never have a decent relationship with her. She's just not capable of it...and he's got to realize that it's not his fault, and he can't control that. Some people just weren't meant to be parents.
New Year's was uneventful. We had family over, and we all ate and drank and finally watched the ball drop. We let all the kids stay up (which I remember doing every year), so they were ridiculous by midnight. We drank the champagne which someone gave us for the re-wedding (we have no idea who it was from...the card became estranged from the bottle), and gave the kids sparkling cider (which they weren't exactly fond of). We lit fireworks and let the kids bang on pots with metal spoons...a ruckus we quickly distracted them from. Kisses from all my babies and my family was a good way to start the new year.
So, G needs to quit smoking, like, today. I'm not having the $4.70/pack. That's almost $2k/year. Imagine the vacation we could take! Not to mention that he's been smoking for a long time, and promised to quit when I was pregnant with Cameron (um, that was nine years ago). I took one for the team, it's time he did, too. He'll smell better and live longer. Besides, I have no idea how the boy can run the way he does, and smoke the way he does.
My tooth (the one that was root canaled) is bothering me again. The gums around the crown are irritated, and I read about it online last night...I should know better. They described the patient needing something called crown lengthening...very painful, very expensive. Great. I hope to God I don't need that. That is NOT how I want to start the new year.
I hope this finds you well and happy.
In the beginning of December, G and I were re-married. We renewed our vows, and it was a big to-do. It was a lot of work, and I have no idea how people have great big weddings. It was also pretty stressful at times. The event marked our 10th anniversary, which is something I still have trouble getting my brain around. In all honesty, it's something I was not confident we would achieve. It makes me feel quite old. I feel as though we've moved into new territory...this is a new period for us. We've transitioned into something different; hopefully it will continue to grow and be progressively better. Sometimes there's nowhere to go but up, you know?
Christmas was VERY hectic, this year, since we were largely preoccupied with the re-wedding right before. My sister was wonderful and helped me with last-minute wrapping that a certain someone wasn't inclined to help with (in his defense, he did assemble some stuff that I wasn't inclined to). I actually got done all that I needed to and was able to enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but when the day was over, I could have slept for 16 hours. Every year, I vow to start and complete the shopping and wrapping process earlier, but every year, it seems like I'm down to the wire. I really need to change that. This wasn't my favorite Christmas, either. It was very nice, but the actual part with the kids...well, it just didn't go the way I wanted. My middle son seemed disappointed, to some extent, and they all three unwrapped in record time. Next year I think I'm going to have them alternate unwrapping a gift so that it can be more appreciated by all of us. Not to mention, maybe it will make the gifts "stretch", and they won't be left simply wondering what they can open next. I want them to be grateful for what they have and what they get. Anyway, now comes the process of culling the existing toy collection and finding homes for the new stuff. But I really think that this year they got a reasonable amount of stuff. More importantly, they seemed very interested in traditions, this year...which was nice. I hope they continue to appreciate that.
The inlaws came and went without much to-do, which was nice...but not without all the phony-ness and half-truths. I don't know why my mother-in-law can't just say and do what she really feels. I really feel sorry for G in that respect. I'm pretty sure he'll never have a decent relationship with her. She's just not capable of it...and he's got to realize that it's not his fault, and he can't control that. Some people just weren't meant to be parents.
New Year's was uneventful. We had family over, and we all ate and drank and finally watched the ball drop. We let all the kids stay up (which I remember doing every year), so they were ridiculous by midnight. We drank the champagne which someone gave us for the re-wedding (we have no idea who it was from...the card became estranged from the bottle), and gave the kids sparkling cider (which they weren't exactly fond of). We lit fireworks and let the kids bang on pots with metal spoons...a ruckus we quickly distracted them from. Kisses from all my babies and my family was a good way to start the new year.
So, G needs to quit smoking, like, today. I'm not having the $4.70/pack. That's almost $2k/year. Imagine the vacation we could take! Not to mention that he's been smoking for a long time, and promised to quit when I was pregnant with Cameron (um, that was nine years ago). I took one for the team, it's time he did, too. He'll smell better and live longer. Besides, I have no idea how the boy can run the way he does, and smoke the way he does.
My tooth (the one that was root canaled) is bothering me again. The gums around the crown are irritated, and I read about it online last night...I should know better. They described the patient needing something called crown lengthening...very painful, very expensive. Great. I hope to God I don't need that. That is NOT how I want to start the new year.
I hope this finds you well and happy.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The Halloween that Daddy Saved
You can imagine the chaos that is my house, given that I have three children. That said, when we were ready to put on Halloween costumes, which had been worn a couple of weeks ago for a cousin's party, we discovered that Collin's Peter Pan hat had gone missing. I initially blamed Cameron, because her room is the most disastrous in the house, and she had taken the bag of costumes into her room and dumped them on the floor. At any rate, we searched the house, and it is nowhere to be found. So, in a moment of chivalry and fatherly love, G went to the fabric store to purchase felt, and we made Collin a new hat. After all, he'd have just been a boy in a green and brown outfit, without that hat. 
The kids had fun trick-or-treating, of course. Booah was the most entertaining...he frequently shouted, in his two-year-old accent, "OPEN THE DOOR! I GET CANDY!" Or, when he was done talking to one sweet elderly neighbor, he promptly (and loudly) told her to shut the door. Ang and I could hardly stand it. Pictures will be posted soon. Mind you, they couldn't wait to go out, so I only got, like, one picture each.
So, I had my root canal re-done yesterday. Initially, they told me I would need new impressions done for my crown, as the lab didn't like what they got. When I got in the chair (without valium, mind you), they proceeded to open the tooth back up and clean out the canals some more. Mercy. He then told me, more than once, that he was very concerned I would lose the tooth entirely, as it is badly cracked. My feeling (and I think my dentist's, too) is that the dentist who did my filling a couple of months ago, cracked the tooth when she drilled it. Why, oh why, did I go to see another dentist?! Now, it may or may not be her "fault". It could just be something that happened because the cavity was so deep. It could have been her inexperience...fresh out of dental school. I could have been just one of those things. At any rate, I'm too damn young to have this happen, and I'm praying the reconstruction he did yesterday will be sufficient and sturdy enough to perform well.
One more thing I forgot to mention...my middle boy Collin was just in a taping for some kids' songs! Yep, he's gonna be a local star (ok, not really, but he will be on On-Demand kids' programming, which is pretty cool). He was shy, but not his usual head-in-the-sand self. He actually did rather well, considering how standoffish he usually is. He is absolutely in love with Christine, the musician he was "working" for. She's his new girlfriend, and he gets a funny look on his face when he talks about her. Unfortunately, he didn't show them his breakdance skills, which we were really hoping for. I hope he gets the chance to do another video in the future, and he'll get to do it then...but then he'll be older and it won't be quite as cute. Oh well, it was something fun to do, and he enjoyed it...that's all that matters.
Hope you all had a great Halloween!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Happy Halloween
I know I'll be too busy tomorrow to say it, so Happy Halloween. I have costumes to wash, school to get to, kids to wrestle into costumes, makeup to apply, treats to pass out, kids to cart around, and candy to haul. But it will be fun.
We carved pumpkins last night, and fought. The usual...who does more, who is inconsiderate, who doesn't understand. It was loads of fun. G actually carved his pumpkin with a jig saw.
I guess it made quick and fairly precise work of it, but I wouldn't say it's for everyone. In the end, he got a nice, mean-looking pumpkin, which is what he wanted. I won't comment any further.
So anyway, tonight is his volleyball night. Last night, he complained that he was missing the game...I guess because he was carving his pumpking. As though that was an obligation. Nevermind the fact that I carved three kids' pumpkins, in addition to my own. Back to volleyball. Tonight was an extra-long night, because he had to "call lines". That means I did dinner and herded the bunch to gymnastics myself, as usual. I had to wrangle the two boys while we watched Cam's last "showcase" class (and I did two other showcase classes today, as well). That was a little less than fun, although she did a great job. She seems to be really built for gymnastics, and has always enjoyed it. I put up a couple of new pictures, if you're interested. Then, after VB, he's going to call and ask if I mind if he goes to this cool little tequila bar they've been going to. He doesn't even like tequila, and suffice it to say that I'm pretty jealous, and pretty peeved. I'm home with the kids, drinking wine by myself again. Speaking of kids, they've been running amok since we got home. I tried to coerce them into eating the dinner they balked at earlier...potstickers, garlic lo mein, and fresh squash sauteed in garlic & olive oil. What's wrong with them? Anyway, I guess I should go bathe them now, and put them to bed. A good mom would do that. I'm so going to Mexico again next year.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Complaining is My Hobby
Well, this has been a busy week. My oldest baby turned eight yesterday, and I have already proclaimed my disbelief. She wanted breakfast for her birthday "dinner", and pumpkin pie rather than a cake. Sunday, we had her party, and yesterday we had the immediate family dinner. I made apple crisp, too, just because the smell and thought of pumpkin pie was so intoxicating that I had to elaborate on its fall-ness.
G was in Boston for three days, so I was here with the kids. Okay, two and a half days, but in such instances you always round up. But you know...three days of dealing with them, baths, meals, and running around. It takes its toll. I know I really have no cause to complain, because there are plenty of single moms who would love to have a little bit of help, but I am just feeling left behind. And tonight? Yeah, he's playing volleyball with his friends. His younger friends. You know, the ones without spouses and kids. He needs to get with some family men, because I'm tired of drinking wine by myself every night.
Tomorrow we may or may not have house guests, which my mother-in-law has invited to stay at my house. Yes, you read that right. She invited them. Man, I love her. First she invited herself, her brother, and her best friend...now she's not coming, but has assured the other two that we won't mind if they still come. We have not heard from them, so I'm not sure whether they'll still come or not. She has always used our home as a hotel for whenever she's in the area. And, now that we have three kids, there is no more guest room. There is a bed in the basement, and the couch...and the basement is a disaster of toys, computer stuff, and my sewing stuff. I'm really not in the mood for a stash & dash cleaning session. Nor am I in the mood to have a perfect stranger stay in my already busy home. Do y'all have a MIL like mine?
This weekend is the last RenFest already. Just seems impossible, what with all this warm weather we're still having. It's supposed to be downright chilly by now...the bees are supposed to be gone, and you're supposed to drink mead in order to help stay warm. Oh well, I'm going anyway. Can't believe I haven't been yet this year, but that's par for the course. G is sad that I'm going to miss his volleyball double-header. Gee, which would you pick?
Happy weekend!
G was in Boston for three days, so I was here with the kids. Okay, two and a half days, but in such instances you always round up. But you know...three days of dealing with them, baths, meals, and running around. It takes its toll. I know I really have no cause to complain, because there are plenty of single moms who would love to have a little bit of help, but I am just feeling left behind. And tonight? Yeah, he's playing volleyball with his friends. His younger friends. You know, the ones without spouses and kids. He needs to get with some family men, because I'm tired of drinking wine by myself every night.
Tomorrow we may or may not have house guests, which my mother-in-law has invited to stay at my house. Yes, you read that right. She invited them. Man, I love her. First she invited herself, her brother, and her best friend...now she's not coming, but has assured the other two that we won't mind if they still come. We have not heard from them, so I'm not sure whether they'll still come or not. She has always used our home as a hotel for whenever she's in the area. And, now that we have three kids, there is no more guest room. There is a bed in the basement, and the couch...and the basement is a disaster of toys, computer stuff, and my sewing stuff. I'm really not in the mood for a stash & dash cleaning session. Nor am I in the mood to have a perfect stranger stay in my already busy home. Do y'all have a MIL like mine?
This weekend is the last RenFest already. Just seems impossible, what with all this warm weather we're still having. It's supposed to be downright chilly by now...the bees are supposed to be gone, and you're supposed to drink mead in order to help stay warm. Oh well, I'm going anyway. Can't believe I haven't been yet this year, but that's par for the course. G is sad that I'm going to miss his volleyball double-header. Gee, which would you pick?
Happy weekend!
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