God Help Me

G announced on his way out the door to volleyball that he would be calling his mother, so to expect a call afterward.  Fabulous.  Can I really say I was asleep at 9:30pm??? 

He's finally going to tell her that I'm pregnant.  Again.  I feel like I'm in high school and we've gotten into trouble or something.  I can't even imagine what she'll say.  Well, yes, I can...I just don't want to.

My kids have been driving me absolutely crazy this week.  They've been disobedient little hellions.  I don't know what their problem is...maybe we're all just tired of eachother.  My anxiety is back, which doesn't help the situation at all.  Instead of being tolerant and creative, I'm short and I yell a lot.  I hate it.  Something has to give.

I have been feeling really crappy this week, too.  I'm not really feeling nauseous anymore, thank God, but my heart is working harder, so the more forceful, sometimes much faster beating makes me worried...which probably makes it work even harder...it's a vicious cycle.  Add shortness of breath and lightheadedness, and I'm really miserable.  I just don't know if it's "normal" or just a side effect of anxiety, or what. 

On a very happy note, my dear mother helped my pigpen son clean his room today.  I'm quite sure she did most/all of the work, but man!  What a relief and a joy for me!  My daughter even cleaned her room all by herself (with initial prodding from me, of course).  She actually did a really good job.  The House Fairy will probably pay our house a visit tonight.  Good thing she recently replenished the surprise supply.

I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Uneventful

Well, the MIL came and went without much to-do. Really, her visit went well. We ate out more than usual, which is nice for me...and she’s the type to help clean up and stuff, so that was nice, too. Her incessant commenting during movies and phony hyper-praising got on my nerves as always, but it was pretty tolerable. Her worst visits have always been when her husband came with her. We even had a fairly deep discussion about religion last night. The kids really enjoyed her visit. I’m just glad it’s over and we can go back to "normal", whatever that may be.

So, we went to talk to the sales people about a deal on the minivan we liked. As soon as we pulled up, we saw that another three-kid family had just arrived and was looking at the same van. We lurked around the lot as they got the keys, checked it out, and went for a test-drive. It was pretty pointless, but we went in to see what kind of deal they would offer us, but I knew the other people were going to buy it. First of all, the list price was decent, considering the book value. And while there was nothing "wrong" with them, the other family just seemed to not be quite as savvy as we might be regarding used vehicle purchase. It turns out that they only offered me $1k for my truck, and nothing off the price. Why should they, they had another eager family whose rugrats were already climbing all over the thing? Oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be, and that’s ok.

Right on cue, however, my truck began small signs of protest. She knows her days are numbered, her feelings are hurt, and she’s going to give me a hard time in the next couple of weeks. She didn't want to start (more than usual), and the trip odometer got stuck...so it made an annoying click which I couldn't figure out for quite a while. Then it overheated...or maybe not, the temperature guage was just going crazy because there was so little coolant in it (that's a boy's job, and that boy hasn't been doing his job). Anyway, there is another I might go look at tomorrow, in Reisterstown. That’ll be a fun drive with the boys. The price listed on that one is not too bad, either, so it depends how much they’ll move on it, as well as how much they would give me for my truck. I know I would likely be able to sell my truck outright for quite a bit more than the dealer would give me, but it’s just not something I want to do right now. Trying to answer questions and field calls and potential buyers while looking after my children and juggling my own schedule...eh. Not to mention if my truck would sell before I find a minivan. Fun, fun. I would like to find a new vehicle before I go to the beach at the end of the month. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about problems on the way down and back (except my incredibly motion-sick child on my new leather seats).

I can’t believe Easter is this weekend. I am not at all ready for the festivities...my eggs are not filled, my treats are not ready to go in the baskets. My house isn’t even decorated, which makes me kinda sad. I am, however, glad that the daffodils and crocuses are up, and that spring is on its way. This cold weather keeps hanging on, but with Daylight Savings, I’m really encouraged. It won’t be long. Now I just have to figure out what to do with my kids while Cam is off school this week. We will have to think of stuff to do so that boredom and insanity and fighting doesn’t ensue.

Guess I’d better go see about dinner...it’s not going to cook itself!

The Mom Mobile

So, I drive a 4WD 1997 Chevy Tahoe with 155k miles on it. It has no third row seating, therefore, if we have the family with us, no one else can ride with us. The cargo space is, of course, fabulous. It's great to be able to go to Home Depot and buy an appliance, 12 bags of mulch, whatever. It's great to be able to cart around a double stroller, single stroller, and a week's worth of groceries. It's especially wonderful after a snow storm to be able to get in the car, push a button, and drive away...no shoveling required. I can tow pretty much anything, pull another car out of the mud, etc. It's big, strong, and safe.

And it gets about 11 miles per gallon.

With gas prices heading up to $3.20, and $4.00 projected by summer, that does pose a bit of a concern...even though I usually only drive a few miles per week. Additionally, it needs some work...needs a new catalytic converter (so the exhaust has that lovely rotten egg smell) and some oxygen sensors and stuff. My aftermarket remote start has stopped working, and the mp3 changer stopped working a long time ago. The transmission has shown signs of stress on some occasions, and no wonder, with that many miles on it. It probably should be rebuilt. So, the school of thought is, is it really worth it to put any more money into this vehicle? G thinks not. And, quite honestly, he doesn't want to be the one working on it, either. See, fixing cars is one of his hobbies. But not when it has to be done.

So, the other day we went to look at a Honda Odyssey in Bel Air. It was pretty nice...heated leather seats, navigation, and plenty of room for the fam. I will say that I hate the storage space in a minivan. I wish it was more like my truck. Once there is a single stroller in there, there won't be room for much else. The used car market around here is very slow lately, so prices are fairly reasonable, even before haggling. We could potentially get a good deal, and have a nice, comfy vehicle to take on our summer road trip. But man, I hate to get rid of my truck. We would likely trade it in for two reasons. First and foremost, it gives us a little bit of bargaining room, and therefore would decrease the amount we need to finance. Secondly, we wouldn't have the headache of having it inspected and selling it on our own. I just hate to get rid of it. And, to be quite honest, I hate a minivan. The features and comforts are nice, but I just don't like them.

Yesterday, I went to look at a Toyota Sienna with the two boys. That was interesting. I wasn't assertive enough with the sales person, so she yapped the whole time and came with me on the test drive. She offered to stay behind and keep my boys (NO!), and then pissed me off by asking THEM if they wanted to stay there in the kids' room. Thankfully, they're boys, so they wanted to see the car. She yapped the whole time on the test drive as well, which irritated me. I couldn't concentrate on the details of the drive and the vehicle because she was going on and on about how many people wanted to see this particular van. Give me a break. I'm immune to all their slimy tactics...G used to sell cars! I didn't let on, though. I knew I would be bringing G back to check the car out...obviously he would be able to diagnose any mechanical problems better than I would.

So, the whole lot of us drove back to the dealership last night, and G took the car for a drive himself. He liked it even better than the Odyssey, as did I. It looks like we will probably give them an offer and commence the haggling this weekend. IF it doesn't sell by then, which of course they would have us believe is inevitable. Oh, this will be fun. G thinks we should bring the children, because that gives us excuses and leverage...I'll make them all cry if you don't give us what we want and hurry up! I think, of course, that it would only add more pressure to us...and of course, it would make them pretty miserable. On the other hand, it just might work for us to say, we only have half an hour. Let's roll.

Two days until the MIL's arrival. Guess I'd better make sure I have some wine in the house.

MILs and Caffeine Withdrawal

The MIL (mother-in-law) missed our re-wedding in December because her mother was sick, so she had an open round-trip ticket. She said she would come in March. Well, she made her arrangements, only she wasn't flying in to BWI...she was flying in to Philadelphia, so that she could go visit my brother-in-law (hereafter referred to as the BIL). Well, we thought that was a little rude, but whatever. Then she decided to fly into Philadelphia, but leave from BWI...but someone would still need to go pick her up from NJ. SIGH. First she said they could drive her halfway, and therefore I offered to pick her up at the Chesapeake House on 95. Then my BIL and SIL said they could not drive her down, not even halfway. SO, G would have to go pick her up after work, a five hour round trip. Or, take the day off and go get her. Ridiculous. She said she had to go to NJ first because she had to work (she works for my SIL). Well, she could work from home, no? Furthermore, she said she could not afford to take off work for an entire week, but then proceeded to tell me how she'd just taken off four days to go to Pensacola with some friends. Anyway, G agreed to go pick her up in NJ, something that irritated me. Truthfully, I saw no diplomatic way around it, but why should he bend over backwards for a mother whose life he's never been a part of?

And then she canceled. She had her husband (G's stepfather) call and say she would not be coming, because it didn't make sense to visit us if she was going to NJ...or something like that. And then she decided to fly into BWI tomorrow, and leave Sunday. I said that would be fine, I could pick her up whenever, as long as it didn't interfere with school. And then she canceled that trip. Said she felt like there was a problem, that it wasn't a good time to visit. Then she reinstated her original trip to NJ anyway. Then she changed her mind AGAIN, and decided she will borrow a car from my BIL and drive down to our house for the weekend.

Can I scream now?

What I think she wants is for G to call her and beg her to come...to make her feel reassured and wanted. Well, he's been wanting her to be part of his life all this time...if she can't see that, it's her own fault.

So, I've been trying to give up my caffeine addiction, because it tends to fuel my anxiety. It sucks. I don't have withdrawal every day, just after I've had caffeine. The only caffeine I had was a tiny bit of a latte yesterday. Today, I'm getting a cold, and I have a headache...the coffee would do wonders. But then, especially what with the MIL situation, I just might be on the ceiling.

G just called me and asked me if I wanted to go look at a mini-van tonight. In Bel Air. With the kids. I'm sorry, but I don't think hungry children at a car dealership an hour away at dinner time is a good idea. Besides, I have a nice pork roast that is waiting for the oven. Again, the pressure of the mini-van. Why right this minute? Why tonight? I don't understand that boy.

It's Been a While

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything, and so much has happened that I wanted to write about, but now I pretty much feel like there's no way to catch up. It's been a crazy month or so.

In the beginning of December, G and I were re-married. We renewed our vows, and it was a big to-do. It was a lot of work, and I have no idea how people have great big weddings. It was also pretty stressful at times. The event marked our 10th anniversary, which is something I still have trouble getting my brain around. In all honesty, it's something I was not confident we would achieve. It makes me feel quite old. I feel as though we've moved into new territory...this is a new period for us. We've transitioned into something different; hopefully it will continue to grow and be progressively better. Sometimes there's nowhere to go but up, you know?

Christmas was VERY hectic, this year, since we were largely preoccupied with the re-wedding right before. My sister was wonderful and helped me with last-minute wrapping that a certain someone wasn't inclined to help with (in his defense, he did assemble some stuff that I wasn't inclined to). I actually got done all that I needed to and was able to enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but when the day was over, I could have slept for 16 hours. Every year, I vow to start and complete the shopping and wrapping process earlier, but every year, it seems like I'm down to the wire. I really need to change that. This wasn't my favorite Christmas, either. It was very nice, but the actual part with the kids...well, it just didn't go the way I wanted. My middle son seemed disappointed, to some extent, and they all three unwrapped in record time. Next year I think I'm going to have them alternate unwrapping a gift so that it can be more appreciated by all of us. Not to mention, maybe it will make the gifts "stretch", and they won't be left simply wondering what they can open next. I want them to be grateful for what they have and what they get. Anyway, now comes the process of culling the existing toy collection and finding homes for the new stuff. But I really think that this year they got a reasonable amount of stuff. More importantly, they seemed very interested in traditions, this year...which was nice. I hope they continue to appreciate that.

The inlaws came and went without much to-do, which was nice...but not without all the phony-ness and half-truths. I don't know why my mother-in-law can't just say and do what she really feels. I really feel sorry for G in that respect. I'm pretty sure he'll never have a decent relationship with her. She's just not capable of it...and he's got to realize that it's not his fault, and he can't control that. Some people just weren't meant to be parents.

New Year's was uneventful. We had family over, and we all ate and drank and finally watched the ball drop. We let all the kids stay up (which I remember doing every year), so they were ridiculous by midnight. We drank the champagne which someone gave us for the re-wedding (we have no idea who it was from...the card became estranged from the bottle), and gave the kids sparkling cider (which they weren't exactly fond of). We lit fireworks and let the kids bang on pots with metal spoons...a ruckus we quickly distracted them from. Kisses from all my babies and my family was a good way to start the new year.

So, G needs to quit smoking, like, today. I'm not having the $4.70/pack. That's almost $2k/year. Imagine the vacation we could take! Not to mention that he's been smoking for a long time, and promised to quit when I was pregnant with Cameron (um, that was nine years ago). I took one for the team, it's time he did, too. He'll smell better and live longer. Besides, I have no idea how the boy can run the way he does, and smoke the way he does.

My tooth (the one that was root canaled) is bothering me again. The gums around the crown are irritated, and I read about it online last night...I should know better. They described the patient needing something called crown lengthening...very painful, very expensive. Great. I hope to God I don't need that. That is NOT how I want to start the new year.

I hope this finds you well and happy.

Complaining is My Hobby

Well, this has been a busy week. My oldest baby turned eight yesterday, and I have already proclaimed my disbelief. She wanted breakfast for her birthday "dinner", and pumpkin pie rather than a cake. Sunday, we had her party, and yesterday we had the immediate family dinner. I made apple crisp, too, just because the smell and thought of pumpkin pie was so intoxicating that I had to elaborate on its fall-ness.
G was in Boston for three days, so I was here with the kids. Okay, two and a half days, but in such instances you always round up. But you know...three days of dealing with them, baths, meals, and running around. It takes its toll. I know I really have no cause to complain, because there are plenty of single moms who would love to have a little bit of help, but I am just feeling left behind. And tonight? Yeah, he's playing volleyball with his friends. His younger friends. You know, the ones without spouses and kids. He needs to get with some family men, because I'm tired of drinking wine by myself every night.
Tomorrow we may or may not have house guests, which my mother-in-law has invited to stay at my house. Yes, you read that right. She invited them. Man, I love her. First she invited herself, her brother, and her best friend...now she's not coming, but has assured the other two that we won't mind if they still come. We have not heard from them, so I'm not sure whether they'll still come or not. She has always used our home as a hotel for whenever she's in the area. And, now that we have three kids, there is no more guest room. There is a bed in the basement, and the couch...and the basement is a disaster of toys, computer stuff, and my sewing stuff. I'm really not in the mood for a stash & dash cleaning session. Nor am I in the mood to have a perfect stranger stay in my already busy home. Do y'all have a MIL like mine?
This weekend is the last RenFest already. Just seems impossible, what with all this warm weather we're still having. It's supposed to be downright chilly by now...the bees are supposed to be gone, and you're supposed to drink mead in order to help stay warm. Oh well, I'm going anyway. Can't believe I haven't been yet this year, but that's par for the course. G is sad that I'm going to miss his volleyball double-header. Gee, which would you pick?
Happy weekend!

Archives-I'm Back! 5/3/2007

May 3, 2007

So, Florida, for the most part, was great. I really enjoyed spending time with my family. And my mother-in-law (hereafter referred to as MIL) was actually pretty tolerable. There were a couple of times where she got way past crocked, but it was ok.
The flight there was great--everything went smoothly, the children were great, etc. We even received comments from others about how good our children were. We rented a mini-van, and there has been mutiny in my family-every one of them now insists that I abandon my beloved truck and get a minivan. I must admit, it was a little nice. They're uglier than crap, and I hate the stigma associated with them, but this minivan was cool for the staggered, stow-and-go seating, the rear heat and air, and the Sirius satellite radio. I do feel the pull of the minivan. And to be quite honest, I'd like to have something newer...my truck is starting to worry me. It has nearly 150k miles and is 10 years old now...which means the transmission is probably not healthy any more, and I KNOW that it needs a tuneup ASAP...who knows what else.
Anyway, the flight home was not so great. G took the older two to the bathroom, and while they were in there, they called pre-boarding. Then boarding A, B, and C. Finally, when they called final boarding, here they come. I was nearly in a panic. Of course we didn't get to sit together, and other travelers had to be bribed with alcohol to move so that I could sit with my children. The baby was a crazy person on the way home, and I could not wait to get on the ground. You can bet that I said yes, when the flight attendant asked if I wanted a drink...a couple of times! Not to mention the two margaritas I had in the Tampa airport.
While in FL, we had a lot of fun. We went by boat to a nearby island in the gulf where there were plenty of shells and space for the kids to run in the surf...and the waves are gentle enough that they don't get knocked down. We visited the fishing/shopping/Greek village of Tarpon Springs. That was ok, but I've been there before and really don't need any more sponges, thank you. However, I did manage to still drop $50 at a shell shop.
We barbecued, ate drank, swam in the pool...found a great coffee shop called Insomniacs...and, unfortunately, took my MIL's advice as to which bar to check out. It was good for people watching, at least. Old-people watching! My littlest son emptied all the rocks out of MIL's plants...into her pool! The middle son learned to swim a little. We took the babies to Disney, which was fun, but a little disorganized. We didn't get as much done there as we would have liked. And of course, that was the hottest day. And my poor red-haired daughter, despite the hat and slathering 50 SPF sunblock on her every half an hour...she still managed to get burned.
Two weeks till Mexico. And my passport finally came while I was gone!!! My mom and sister still don't have theirs, though *sigh*. I can't believe it's only two weeks. I'm sad to leave my babies and my honey, especially after all the fun we just had together. But man, I can't wait.
Anyone up for a fire for Cinco de Mayo?